Somehow, It’s Almost February

I can’t remember the last time I wrote an honest-to-god blog post. Not a round-up for the year, not a review of something, not an essay. A blog post. A space to share what’s going on in my life, what I’m reading/watching/playing/doing/hearing, what’s been on my mind, or whatever else I feel like writing about.

At some point, the idea of blogging became really daunting to me. I feared not having the right kind of Content to share. I worried that writing about certain aspects of my personal life would worry or anger my loved ones, especially if I made mention of them. And perhaps worst of all, blogging became Yet Another Thing I felt like I had to monetize in order to make it Work, which made it even less appealing.

In 2023, I’m bringing back blogging. Perhaps it’s old school to write on an actual website, rather than sending out a newsletter, but I’ve started what feels like a million newsletters in the past and never stuck with them past a few months at most. (Plus, when I ran a Twitter poll about this, y’all overwhelmingly voted for me to blog right here.) If you feel strongly about wanting to see my blog posts in your email, let me know—but my major goal for 2023 is to get back in touch with my writing process in a very intentional way, without worrying about the analytics of every piece I put on the Internet.

So let’s start here.

Happy New Year! Someday I’ll write about the absolutely grueling year I had in 2022, but that day is not today.

A selfie of Samantha, a white person with a shaved head and black glasses. They are wearing a hospital gown and making a peace sign with their left hand.

July 2022

Here’s what you need to know: It was rough enough that one of my primary hopes for 2023 was to avoid the ER completely.

Unfortunately, my body had other plans. On New Year’s Day I went to the ER with a 104.5° fever and discovered a few days later that I had a UTI, despite being on a twice-daily medication that is supposed to prevent me from getting them. Since then, I’ve finished a first course of antibiotics and gotten a second UTI, finished a second round of antibiotics and gotten a third UTI—although this one might just be the second one resisting treatment. As of this moment, I don’t know.

So, I’ve adjusted my hope from “avoid the ER in 2023” to “visit the ER five times or less this year.” I’ll keep you updated on how that goes.

In the interim, I’ve restarted therapy and adjusted my anxiety meds after getting laid off from my job sent me into a steep depression spiral, largely because of the timing. Right now, I’m lucky to have an incredibly soft landing zone, which has allowed me to take some time off and heal through that without too many panic attacks about finances. I’m freelancing again and pouring actual hours into my creative projects, including the book projects I’ve put off for way too long, and I feel more like myself than I have in a while.

It’s… nice. Really nice.

And wouldn’t you know, taking a break (forced or not) has allowed me to get back into things that make my brain go brrrrrr in a thinking-thoughts way rather than just a dissociative way. I read seven books in January, joined a virtual book club 💟, made a bunch of playlists, cuddled with our cats, and had some long overdue conversations about The Important Stuff. I think I also saved one of my succulents from sudden death, but she’s being finicky, so maybe not.

How did you begin 2023?

See you soon.


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Books I Read (and Loved) in January 2023

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Books I Loved in 2021